


We Don't Look Alike

by Anonymous



Series: Icognito Starker Fics [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-22
Updated: 2019-05-22
Packaged: 2020-03-09 14:01:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18918466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Peter Parker refuses to accept that he looks like Tom Holland.





	We Don't Look Alike

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic and it's on crack. This was not beta'd so I apologize in advance.

Peter Parker doesn’t understand people. He and Tom Holland does not look alike at all. He refuses to accept the similarities the media points out. First of all, he hates to admit it, but he’s a nerd. He likes sweater paws, hoodies and science puns t-shirts. Very far off from the stylish British actor and Tom is a muscle bunny who probably lives inside the gym. And no offense to Tom but he can climb walls. How cool is that? Also, does it look like he has a funny accent? Peter is so baffled by this.

 

Tony and him are staying in a five star hotel in Greece. It was supposed to be a fun vacation. It was going really well at first. They were having fun touring Athens --- Gosh, it’s such a beautiful city. Then people started coming up to him asking for pictures and autographs, and praising him for Avengers: Endgame’s success.

 

Then he saw his boyfriend lounging at the hotel lobby wearing a cat onesie and to his horror, with his goatee shaved off.

 

“Mr. Stark!” Peter said as he bounded his boyfriend. “Why did you shave off your beard? And why are you wearing a cat onesie?”

 

‘Tony’ looked at him in confusion. “Tommy, why are you calling me Mr. Stark? If this is another kink of yours, I swear to God.”

 

Meanwhile, Tom is having the time of his life in the city. He was out shopping when he bumped to Tony Stark himself.

 

“Hey baby boy.” The billionaire purred as he strides over him. Tom began panicking internally as Tony Stark approaches. His panic then turned to annoyance and sighed.

 

“Do I look like a nerd to you?” Tom asked as he crossed his arms, frowning.

 

“Honey,” Tony began, looking at him funny. Why is Peter imitating British accent?

 

“I’m Tom fucking Holland not Peter Parker oh my fucking God!” He then storms away, throwing his hands up in the air. He does not look like Peter Parker, thank you very much.

 

The ultimate showdown between Peter and Tom happened during dinner. Tony and Robert texted their boyfriends to come downstairs and meet them at the hotel’s restaurant to eat, all the while sitting back to back, unaware of each other’s existence.

 

“Oh hell no!”

 

“What the ---”

 

Robert offered Tony and Peter, who was having a staring contest with Tom, to come sit with them in their table. It was terrifying that both weren’t blinking.

 

“Baby,” Robert starts but abruptly stops when Tom raises his hand to sush him, still staring at Peter without breaking eye contact. “I can’t believe people keep on mistaking me to this twink.”

 

Bristling at his comment, Peter blinks his eyes furiously. “Excuse me? Last time I checked, I could lift up a bus. What can you do besides acting to be me in that shitshow called Avengers: Endgame? I kept saying this but we did so much more than hug after we were reunited.”

 

Peter has to stop himself from the word vomit. Thinking about that movie makes his blood boil.

 

At his side, Tony clears his throat. “Well honey, they have to make it family friendly.”

 

“Family friendly? Family friendly!” Peter turns his head to look at his boyfriend incredulously. “They made you marry Pepper! Which is ridiculous, btw. You? Cheat on me? And they killed you off. The audacity!”

 

“Pepper looks so bomb in Rescue though.”

 

“I know.” Peter agreed.

 

Tom huffed. “I say I did my acting well, Parker.”

 

“Don’t get your pointees in a twist, Holland. You’re cool but I’m cooler.”

 

And Robert can’t help but roar in laughter. This is so hilarious. “Okay Tommy. Not gonna lie but you and Mr. Parker do look like twins.”

 

“So do you and Tony Stark!” Tom exclaimed. “Ditch your eccentric fashion choices, grow your beard again, put some insoles on then boom! You look like him.”

 

“Are you saying that I’m short Thomas Stanley Holland?!”

 

“I’m not saying that you’re short, I’m just saying that you’re fun sized.” Robert gaped at him.

 

Opposite of him, Tony let out a chuckle. "I see we are dating sassy kids, Mr. Downey."

 

“I want a refund.” The actor groaned.

 

“Bold of you to assume that you’d ever get rid of me.”

 

They spent the rest of evening getting to know one another. Later, both Tony and Robert bullied their younger lovers to stand next to each other and took a picture of them.

 

The next day, Robert tweeted the photo:

 

**Robert Downey Jr**

@RobertDowneyJr

@Iron_Man and I’s boyfriends. Can you tell which is which? Both are looking very much like Grumpy Cat.

 

_[image attachment]_

 

\---

 

Tom and Peter eventually became close much to their older boyfriends’ amusement. One day, the came up with a mischievous scheme and told it to them during their weekly lunch.

 

“Nope. Absolutely not.” Both Robert and Tony said.

 

“It would be funny though!” Peter insisted. “We are going to have so much fun.”

 

“We are not trolling everyone by switching, Petey!”

 

“But Tonyyy.” Peter whined. “We get to be an actor for a day and I’d get to see Tessa and Robert’s cats.”

 

“I want to wear the real Iron Spider suit too.” Tom mumbled. He then looked up at Robert with the saddest puppy eyes. “Daddy, please?”

 

“Thomas? Really? In front of my fucking salad?” Peter gaped. “Keep your kinks in the bedroom!”

 

“You’re the one to talk, you twink!” Tom shot at him. “You have a Mr. Stark kink and you don’t see me kink shame you!”

 

\---

 

Pepper wonders if this is a sign for her to resign from her position and become an actress instead --- Endgame was a success after all. She watches as the chaos unfolded. The PR team is in shambles. Apparently, Peter and Tom managed to convince Tony and Robert to troll everyone by pretending to be one another for a day. It was everywhere --- Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr and Instagram. What took the cake was what Peter did. Peter went out and decided to yell at the director and writers of Spider-Man: Far From Home on set for giving him the worst script.

 

“Mr. Stark would die all over again before he'd let S.H.E.I.L.D. near me! And I've blasted off Mysterio's ass ages ago! Keep up with the news, people! This is a badly written fanfic. Ugh, I can't take this bullshit anymore --- Karen! Call legal and tell them to prepare a lawsuit against Marvel.”

 

Pepper needs a glass of vodka martini. And a all-expense paid trip to Bali for a week.

 

Stark Industries ended up buying Marvel to no one's surprise.

 

\---

 

The four of them were down in Tony’s lab. Tom watches as nanobots slowly encase Robert’s body and whistled.

 

“Robert looks so hot in Iron Man armor. I want him to fuc ---”

 

“Dude, what the hell?!” Peter cried out, dropping his web shooters. “You just can’t say that!”

 

“What? Don’t tell me you haven’t thought of it?”

 

“...”

 

“He already fucked you in it, didn’t he?” Tom asked slyly.

 

“...Yes.”


End file.
